Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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