Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize