dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
