I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.