I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
