ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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