i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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