So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
