his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she told me i tasted like america
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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