My nipple is on Facebook.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
