You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize