Do vagina's smell?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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