Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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