In the future we'll all be gay
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize