Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
