does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's get the cat blown out
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize