nut hugger
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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