we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Couch. On fire.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize