Your dad touched me again.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
