you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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