The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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