She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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