I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
