umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize