No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
