Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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