I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize