Your tits are I can't wait for
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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