Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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