You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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