a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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