they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize