Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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