Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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