How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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