he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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