his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize