dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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