Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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