operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
