Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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