Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize