Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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