Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
