First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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