wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
