I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
