I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
