Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on