She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.