white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.