you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.