Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra