My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING