I am spending my child support on dildos
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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